You are good enough. You don't have to be a people pleaser. If you want to succeed beyond expectations, you need to surround yourself with others who have higher standards than you. Don't compare your relationship to others' relationships As tempting as it is to use "textbook" expectations in a relationship as a template for your own, this approach doesn't work. And if those around you don't possess this, your chances of success are . We repeatedly feel disappointment that the expectation hasn't been met. Don't Let Disappointment Stop You from Achieving Your Goals. Instead, try being open to any and all reactions from others. Concerning this salvation, the prophets who prophesied about the grace . So glad you found it helpful, Lina! Goals are fabulous and as a coach I'm all for them; in contrast, expectations just make people feel bad. If they listen to you and make improvements - yahoo! If we expect a certain outcome, then others should be thinking the same thing. In my personal life I don't have expectations of others, except to say that I assume all people are good until proven otherwise. Don't let the noise of others' opinions drown out your own inner voice. You separate your wants from shoulds. You only have to please your heavenly Father. Other people see us as No. The effects of expectations One complicating factor of expectations is that the ones we don't think we'll live up to come from people that we depend on for stability. Even when they are busy, a true friend will free up time in their schedule to see you. In other words I've actually seen it as a strength. Set high expectations for yourself, don't set any expectations for external situations Revelation We should all have high expectations for ourselves (intelligently, of course), but if you don't have any expectations for things occurring to you that you have little control over (ie, depending on other people), your emotional investment will not . Consequently, you have to get used to the idea that you can't please everyone and aren't obligated to fulfill everyone else's expectations. There wasn't any expectations on either side that we "must" reply within a certain time frame. 4. In meditation, don't expect anything. In dealing with people and something living, it generally means that the possibilities are endless because the person is often anywhere betwee. They expect to be treated with kindness, love, affection, and respect. Stop expecting them to always do the "right thing" based on your standards. - Stephen Hawking. And if those around you don't possess this, your chances of success are . How Changing My Expectations Increased My Happiness. You got into a relationship with another human being and not with yourself, so it's common sense that they have their own way of doing things. Parental pressure can play a role in this, as well as other societal expectations, or even just being temporarily overwhelmed. The problem is that we don't exist in a void. Most people feel inspired by having the right expectations that they can live up to. "Blessed is he who expects nothing, for he shall never be disappointed.". We don't only think about our expectations, we start developing emotions too. I had expectations of others, expectations of society, and expectations of myself. Don't be trapped by dogma - which is living with the results of other people's thinking. We don't have any expectations. As long as you understand that your expectations are your creation and it has nothing to do with others, it is fine to have expectation. "When one's expectations are reduced to zero, one really appreciates everything one does have.". Once we have developed a set of schemas and attitudes, we naturally use that information to help us evaluate and respond to others. The first type of expectations is when you have expectations of others, as in the example of the Philosophy professor. When you let go of your expectations, when you accept life as it is, you're free.To hold on is to be serious and uptight. When our lives are ruled by personal expectations, it can make every day a struggle. There is more to life than pleasing people. I never expect anything. "I have learned that as long as I hold fast to my beliefs and values - and follow my own moral compass - then the only expectations I need to live up to are my own." — Michelle Obama "Don't blame people for disappointing you, blame yourself for expecting too much from them." This can create some serious problems. There is much more to life than following others' prescribed path. The trouble is that most of us don't expect good things, we expect exact outcomes. Let's say you never swear, but your friend curses like a sailor. "My expectations were reduced to zero when I was 21. We expect to meet . I'm more interested in how people are, than what I expect them to be. Things don't always go as we plan — it's just a fact of life. If you constantly compare yourself to . It's a strength that I don't need anything from anybody. "Honestly, I have possession-by-possession, day-by-day expectations," Lloyd said after the Wildcats lost 77-73 at Tennessee. We're going to play to have fun […] Expecting too much from other people instead of focusing on your own happiness can lead to disappointment. Don't expect others to respect you when you don't respect yourself. Thanks for your comment! Just sit back and see what happens. For example, if you have high self-expectations, you often expect a lot from others too. The problem, however, is that oftentimes, your expectations don't match up to those of your significant other—or to things that any average person can or would want to fulfill—landing you in . The problem is that we don't exist in a void. Though you do not now see him, you believe in him and rejoice with joy that is inexpressible and filled with glory, obtaining the outcome of your faith, the salvation of your souls. A true friendship revolves around both friends having little to no expectations of each other. If you do not have expectations, you can never be disappointed. 1. Don't expect others to make you a priority when you haven't made yourself important. Give Up Expectations. 4. Cultivate a thick skin in the relationship, knowing that challenges are an inevitable part of life. We don't expect a good relationship. Doubtless, it is wonderful to . It's not easy to let others be who they are with their imperfections and . Don't expect others to respect you when you don't respect yourself. 6. Just make sure you have realistic expectations. Don't forget to extend this compassion to others who happen to fall short of your expectations, too. One way to shed the guilt of other's expectations is to ask yourself if what you are saying yes to will leave you time to make your relationship with God primary. The best friendships I have that started online: (1) grew slowly. When we do follow them we often expect a payoff for our efforts. Answer (1 of 6): There is nothing wrong in having expectations from others. People who do not have an anxiety problem accept this. Revel in the day you have today. If something is logical to us, then it should be logical to others. They don't take into account your abilities or your . Pleasing Others Quotes. Unrealistic expectations generate frustration and, therefore, make us more unhappy beings. Sometimes others live up to my expectations. Discover the things you need to stop expecting from others so you can have more successful, happier relationships with people. It may seem odd to begin a change by focusing on the problem, but that is the best way to process it so that we don't have to carry it around anymore. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition - Steve Jobs My way is right. I find that the people that are most disappointed in life are coming from a place of weakness where they need others to deliver for them to maintain their happiness or status quo. Of course as you get to know someone you have a sense of what . It is a simple truth, when you put too high of expectations on a friend, or all of your friendships, sooner or later, you will get burned. ― Eve Ensler, I Am an Emotional Creature. Of course as you get to know someone you have a sense of what . Our expectations help us to think about, size up, and make sense of individuals, groups of people, and the relationships among people. If we haven't expressed our expectations, we don't have the right to feel resentment when they are not met. Allow others to manage their expectations of you. . As far back as the 1960s, Harvard research demonstrated the power of our beliefs in swaying other people's behavior. Quotes tagged as "pleasing-others" Showing 1-30 of 38. Because expectations are devices of the mind, they are often not grounded in reality. Waiting for an answer, attitude or situation that doesn't necessarily have to occur is a very common mistake among people. I don't know about you, but that hits me with conviction. To Carry Your Weight. But for some people, it can be really hard to stop worrying about . "I finally know the difference between pleasing and loving, obeying and respecting. "If you expect nothing from […] Often we tend to believe that the way we treat others will be the way we are treated in return. To let go is to lighten up. There is so much more to life than what you experience right now. The Bible lays out some principles that help us form expectations and deal with the expectations of others: Communicate: Openness and honesty with ourselves and with others is the first key. For that matter, don't be anxious for any result whatsoever. This does not mean they expect their relationship to be free of conflict. Don't Judge Yourself Harshly. She said, "The biggest disappointments in life start when you have expectations of others.". Expectations Are Everywhere. Whenever we set an expectation that our partners don't meet, we feel let down. There are battles that don't concern us, or at least not enough to cause changes in others. Perfectionistic leaders often don't communicate their "high standards" until others miss their expectations. And when we realize that it isn't, we start looking around for the real world." ― Lev Grossman "Set the standard! Respect starts from within, so if you wish to be respected, you have to do what it takes to respect yourself--that is, living . . you often have feelings of resentment (a sign you expect too much from others) But surely high expectations are a sign of confidence? In other words, those expectations aren't really about you—they're about the other person. The tricky thing about your expectations is that they impact other people too. I used to live in a world crowded with expectation. Shoulds are expectations imposed by others. If the answer is nope: Just Say NO! Expecting nothing can be defined as not to think or believe something will happen. They give you goals, purpose, joy and even something to look forward to, but you have to understand that life happens: you're not always in control. Stop Expecting These 10 Things From Others: 1. Expecting good things from life is indeed a sign of self-worth. You should expect the most out of yourself and others. 9. 8. Dare to give up living your life to other people's expectations and start living it Your Way instead. This leads to them never having to disappoint each other, because they have mutual respect. Expectations Are Everywhere. Perhaps you have heard the saying: "Expectations are premeditated resentments." I believe this slogan, which apparently originated in 12-step programs, contains some useful, practical information . They do not tolerate emotional or physical abuse. . "If you expect nothing from somebody you are never disappointed.". Sometimes people come at us with expectations from the moment they meet us. They expect their partner to be loyal. It isn't wise to let yourself expect too much from others because you have no control over what they are or who they become.High expectations could lead to getting hurt. There are a few ways to keep hoping for positive interactions with other people, but not get sucked down into the mud and muck when they don't go as you expect. Though you have not seen him, you love him. ADVERTISEMENT. If you let others tell you who you are, you are living their reality — not yours. By definition, customer expectations are any set of behaviors or actions that individuals anticipate when interacting with a company. Unrealistic expectations assume a level of control that we don't actually have in a situation. Parents expect you to be a doctor, lawyer, or accountant. Often, this happens when parents are impatient or get frustrated. The same goes for expectations. It's not easy to let go of expectations. If we have learned, for example, that someone is friendly and interested in us . In a good enough relationship, people have high expectations for how they're treated. Give all your love to all the person's in your life but don't expect the same in return. 6. Stop expecting others to show you love, acceptance, commitment, & respect when you don't even show that to yourself." ― Steve Maraboli "There were two ways to be happy: improve your reality, or lower your expectations" Open the communication lines Don't you even dare, not even for a second, to think that who . My husband is a human, a person who makes mistakes and forgets things, who feels sad, happy, excited, overwhelmed, and angry; a perfectly imperfect human—just like me. But, unfortunately, this does not . The first one definitely goes without saying. (xxvi)". 101 Don't Care Quotes And Sayings. You can't make them take jobs they don't want or go to school against their will. Some kids wet the bed and others find it difficult to get potty training. Realizing this can be a breakthrough for a lot of us allowing us to understand why someone doesn't have the same expectations as we do. You have high expectations for the people in your life, so when one of them lets you down, you're surprised and hurt, and you don't want to let it happen again. Forget your personal investment in that person or in the relationship. Accordingly, they're not necessarily a good compass for your life. May these quotes inspire you to expect nothing and appreciate everything that comes into your life. When my friends and I were discussing why they do or don't reciprocate, my friend, Jill, said something profound. Answer: When dealing with objects and things, it means they don't really know what's to come, or at least they've given little thought in what's to come. In my personal life I don't have expectations of others, except to say that I assume all people are good until proven otherwise. Having expectations isn't a bad thing. Instead, think of yourself as an explorer going through life, rather than someone with a path dictated by expectations. And they don't treat it like it's a big deal. Now, let's blow out that match and . Quotes tagged as "expectations" Showing 1-30 of 1,032. Many of the expectations you have you don't even know about. If you want to succeed beyond expectations, you need to surround yourself with others who have higher standards than you. Here's a list of expectations that if you have, you need to change. So when they don't feel calm, this is no big deal. Sometimes they don't. Actually, usually, they don't, but that's ok. It's great to have high expectations. We're not alone—and everyone around us has their own expectations of us. Everything since then has been a bonus." - Stephen Hawking Expectations set up an attachment to specific outcomes, leaving little room for fresh possibilities. When you expect nothing you shield yourself from the disappointment, so whatever you do get or achieve is an unexpected reward. If you ever want to be disappointed by someone, set unrealistic expectations. 1. Expectations are often unrealistic. 1. - Richard Carlson. Treat the whole thing as an experiment. 1.We think other people think as we do. Bhante Henepola Gunaratana 7. The following are some steps we can take to stop blaming others for everything that goes wrong: 1. The godly are justified in having great expectations. They have no expectations that they should feel calm all the time. Don't think that your way is the right and only way. You must be ruthless in . Don't lock yourself with some expectations you formed in the past. It is our right to have expectations, but nobody is under any obligation to fulfill them. "When you stop expecting people to be perfect, you can like them for who they are.". Expectations of others: though others have expectations from you, vice versa it's often also true. It ignores your unique personality and needs (and those of your partner) without valuing what makes your partnership unique and special. The most common reason -- by far -- for lost, dwindled and dead-on-the-vine friendships is the inflated and faulty (yes, faulty) expectations of one friend for another. Even when we express our expectations, we have to take into account that people might be unable or unwilling to meet them, and that's okay. However. Some expectations are good to have and some are unhealthy. 3) Have Realistic Expectations. Respect. I'm more interested in how people are, than what I expect them to be. If they don't, you tried and you can let it go. Psychotherapist Victoria Lorient-Faibish recommends assigning our friends to A, B, C and D categories, so that we don't "have A expectations from a person that belongs in a C group": Group A: your dearest friends with whom you feel safe to be 100% yourself, you don't judge each other, they've earned your trust It is the same theory, "love yourself and love will find its way to you." It is what you give to others that you get back. You have one life - this one right now - you must live it, own it, and especially don't let other people's opinions distract you from your path. Expectations are nice to have. Morris shared these . Expectations set us up for failure and pain. However, when you don't meet the expectations you have for yourself, the disappointment can feel even more significant and harder to handle. Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. There will be times when you carry . Sometimes people come at us with expectations from the moment they meet us. You may have no expectations for other people or situations. If you ever want to be disappointed by someone, set unrealistic expectations. We all don't view the world with the same pair of eyes. 2. Holding yourself to a higher standard, even if you don't always live up to it, pushes you to be a better person. "I don't have a secret envelope with a bunch of goals written down. 9 . People's morals and ethics differ based on a lot of factors, like their upbringing, culture, spiritual beliefs, etc. If you don't value yourself and stick up for yourself, you're not only severely sabotaging yourself but also sending a message that you're not worth the trouble, even to yourself. They Don't Have Expectations. But other people may have expectations of you. When we fail to do them we feel guilty. 1. We criticize ourselves harshly for failure and feel disappointment when we don't live up to our dreams. You have to do your fair share in any relationship. They Make Time. Stop expecting other people to act exactly as you would like them to—it's a game you're guaranteed to lose. Don't have unrealistic expectations when it comes to your kids. We all fail ourselves and others in many ways ( James 3:2 ), and we should be able to admit when we . 1 or whatever, and that's their opinion. Goal setting works like that too. Take an active interest in the test itself, but don't get distracted by your expectations about the results. I can't be as cool / funny / entertaining as _____ These beliefs seem so extreme when you read them, but I've been guilty of having some of these, and I'm guessing that you might be too. Treat yourself as though you matter, and others will follow suit. . Don't compare your relationship with what others' have. Be aware of other's perspectives. The question is Will the players fall victim to trying to live up to it We have the same right to fail as any other team, regardless of the past. Fully acknowledge the damage that was done. However, it is wrong to expect other people to fulfill your expectations. Stay calm, collected and keep working on making your relationship better. And it's totally okay to tell someone what you think they are doing is a mistake, just don't have any expectations they will change. To overcome unrealistic expectations from others, you must first mine through any unrealistic expectations you have of yourself. Don't forget that it's a two-way street, so if you want your partner to make you happy, you have to work hard to do the same. Don't let the expectations and ideas of others limit who you are. They let themselves feel whatever they feel and move on with their day. If you have such undue expectations from others, like the ones enlisted below, it is time to change them and save yourself from disappointments. I might go for weeks without hearing from them, although they did require a fair bit of commitment to make that initial establishment. We're not alone—and everyone around us has their own expectations of us. They are typically modeled after parents, authority figures, and different life experiences. Don't mistake expectations for goals. 2. It has taken me so many years to be okay with being different, and with being this alive, this intense. 1 Peter 1:8-12 ESV / 9 helpful votesNot Helpful. Share your expectations Most people have some expectations in their personal relationships. In contrast to the common unrealistic relationship expectations mentioned above, there are also a number of reasonable expectations in a relationship, as Dr. John Gottman explains, that you do not just have the right to demand but actually should demand if you desire a healthy relationship . It's hard to deal with the disappointment that comes when the expectations you have for others go unmet. 3. Historically, customers have expected basics like quality service and fair pricing — but modern customers have much higher expectations, such as proactive service, personalized interactions, and connected experiences across digital channels. When you observe a gap between what you get and what you wanted, pause before . By Leanne Lindsey. 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